//

Where'd the Golden Child go? 
Got locked in the Phantom Zone? 
When will he get up and move? 
When we he get out the blue? 
Where'd the Golden Child go? 
Got locked in the Phantom Zone? 
When will he get up and move? 
When will he get out the b– 

It's cold out here 
I been days, or months, or weeks, or years 
It's hard to say and hard to know 
Like Schrödinger,  
you know how it goes 
Or maybe you don't 
Maybe I never existed 
Maybe this is just a figment 
Maybe all of my prayers are wishes 
Maybe the power I once had inside of me's flared out and faded and now it's all gone 
Maybe this place is a prison and I need to suffer and scream to atone for my wrongs 
Maybe it's what I deserve 
Maybe I need to be frozen and burned 
Maybe I'm hoping in something that's fake and I need to quit wishing that I could return 
Yeah, I'm dreaming of things 
Buying a ring, getting down on one knee 
Us living forever happily without all the hurt and the pain in between 
But then it all fades, and I hear the screams,  
I'm dreaming again 
It's all the same and it's different,  
lifetimes in a minute 
Left, up, right, down just isn't 
I'm seeing my family die at my hand 
I'm seeing my darling with another man 
I'm seeing my friends all forget who I am 
I'm seeing myself rejecting my plan 
I'm dreaming bout everything, everywhere, and all that it could have been 
I'm dreaming bout all of my wins 
I'm dreaming bout all of my sins 
All of the questions I had are getting some answers 
What if we're never-to-be like it's Sanvers? 
What is the reason my hands hurt? 
What if it's cancer? What if the fans lurk? 
I'm dreaming they're throwing some stones 
I'm dreaming my people are getting disowned 
I'm dreaming that they all erase me 
I'm seeing how all of'em hate me 
It's too dark in here and I can't take it, but what else can I do? 
Conjure up memories of people and places that made me safe 
Rewind the tapes, play them all back, watch'em all through 
Dive in head-first, and sink in the blue? 
What else can I do? 

Where'd the Golden Child go? 
Got locked in the Phantom Zone? 
When will he get up and move? 
When we he get out the blue? 
Where'd the Golden Child go? 
Got locked in the Phantom Zone? 
When will he get up and move? 
When will he get out the b– 

When will he get out the blue? 
When will he get out the blue? 

\\

//

I think I need some time to think 
I think I need some time to drink 
I think I need some time to eat some water and sleep 
Wait 
No 
No, my mind's all of flutter 
My mind's in the gutter 
My apartment's all a clutter 
I got scattered and battered inside that ten-by-ten-by-ten 
I got lost inside my mind, echoing inside my head 
Now I'm stuck here in the blue, and I don't know what to do 
Cause I'll say pretty please to God but then I'll break all my new rules 
I'm tryna make process, but quit on the process 
I'm thinking I should write more and talk less 
So let's write it all down, let's just lay it out 
Let it go, let it flow, and just hope we don't drown 

It's hard to have community when you've been MIA 
I got like ten friends, nine of them are out of state 
We talk once a month, maybe twice if we're lucky 
And I always find the beauty, but it's hard to call this lovely 
Maybe I'm just broken, maybe I just need to sleep 
Maybe in the morning I'll give up on all my dreams 
It's hard to wanna hustle when like four of them believe 
But it's really not their fault cause look at me, no look at me 
I got all of my scars dropping boxes and the ball 
Disregarding new mercies every summer, spring, and fall 
And it's all out of order cause I don't protect my border 
So now I'm terrified that she'll leave when I tell it all  

Tryna break the fifth wall, drinking black tea on bones days
And you can stay the night, just lemme know the day 
I made it to twenty-one, but not unscathed 
Heroism is a full-time-job and it don't really pay 
I know you don't believe half of what I've said 
Cause I was lost and almost found seven times in my head 
But now I'm not afraid to fall, cause even if it's gravity 
If I get to be with you, there's no place that I'd rather be 
Can't wait for the mentions, Lord, save me from your followers 
Stay away from darling, don't you dare to request to follow her 
"Let all your damage damage me", those the words I want to speak 
After the after party 

Said I was on the way to wonderland, but immer immer wieder 
Just gimme a minute to sit because my feet hurt 
Feels like a few years ago, on those country roads 
Makin' proud proclamations moments after I had seen her 
But it wasn't really time, and it really isn't now 
Still learning how to fly with me feet on the ground 
Still learning how to kneel and take off my crown 
Still learning how to breathe, still learning how to bow 
Hard to start it over, take it from the top again 
Had to work out of the blue before I could get out the red 
No trust me when I tell you it'll make sense in the end 
Just never lose your hope, and I'll see you tomorrow, friend 

I wanna build some muscle, wanna stay out of trouble 
Wanna build myself a throne and sit on top of all the rubble 
Wanna cultivate a home that's God-fearing and blessed 
Want to never lash out at the kids when I get stressed 
I hope they're doing well, hope they call on me for help 
Praying that they move toward heaven and move away from hell 
No I don't know if I did well with my time there 
But when I prosper, maybe I can let them know that I care 
May God protect all of the people that I love 
Man I hope that I make proud the saints watching from above 
Nah I'm not sleeping anymore, no, I promise you that 
Can't wait to talk about with you when it's all a wrap 

\\

//

I wish I didn't use my friends as therapists 
I wish I didn't waste so much time being scared of it 
I wish my authenticity didn't get me embarrassed 
I wish I wasn't mocked by friends, teachers, and grandparents 
For every other thought and desire 
I wish they would admit that they had conspired 
To make me look like a liar 
So I don't have to take the heat for every time that they promised me water 
And then doused me in fire 
Call that a bait and a switch 
Just throw my hate in a ditch 
Or a grave or a pit 
Wherever my body lands, so that I can stay with it 
And it'll stay with me, locked inside of my bones 
The ones I wish I'd never jumped when nobody was home 
Man I wish I wasn't proud of my inevitability 
I wish that I could say what's been killing me 
I wish the family name wasn't held as a responsibility 
I wish that she was into me physically 
Not just for the laughs and the good conversation 
Being funny's great til you got no one to hang with 
So now I'm hoping and I'm prayin that somebody understands 
What it's like to have acquaintances who all have friends 
Man I hope that I can pay my dad back 
For every semester that I threw in the trash 
After I had moved the tassel that was on my grad cap 
When I was wishing they would diss me so that I could clap back 
I wonder if they'll miss me when I'm dead and gone 
Who should I give the rights to for all these second-rate songs? 
Third kid, Golden Child, should have gotten it right 
I'm just tryna survive, but I should be living for the light, yeah 
Broke out the chamber but I'm still hearing the echoes 
No catch me in the shadows holding on when I should let go 
Can't wait to say "good morning" but I never say "good night" 
Sign off with "peace" but I never stand and fight, no 
It's oxymoronic, I'm tryna move on it 
It's parasitic, bubonic, and I might die to resolve it 
But we scrapped that album, so I suppose I should keep living 
But I don't want this life of sleeping, working, and sinning 
If the Lord don’t forgive me, I'mma still try my best 
But what is my "best" when I can never get some rest? 
No the rest of me's in shambles, like I'm walking in a bramble 
And I can't heal myself with a pen or a piano, nah 
Trust me I've tried, on the sea catching rides 
It comes and goes in waves, SHM on the tides 
And I'd adjust the sails, but I'm trapped in all these currents 
I keep fighting the urge to light it all up and burn it 
If I'm already breaking down, what more could I lose? 
I guess my hope, I suppose my fuse, yeah 
I'm sorry, you really weren't meant to see this 
No, I don't know how to redeem this 

\\

//

I wish that these were blood stains 
Maybe then I wouldn't be stuck in this dumb haze 
Maybe then I would sleep in on Sundays 
Maybe then I wouldn’t shirk from the Son's gaze 
But I like it with the lights out, we know this 
Tell Narrowgate that I've been trying to own this 
But it's a hard thing, and I don’t know who's noticed 
That I can't hold my head high, cause I can't control my eyes, yeah 
No that's a little on the nose, don't you think? 
My tongue's on fire, I need to cool it with a drink 
Send Father Abe to dip his finger in a pool 
But I would never ask for that cause I'm not that type of fool, no 
Cause I know I was made for greatness 
But is greatness just making it on playlists? 
Not sure how they'll react when I say this 
But right now I can't tell if I'm God's or Satan's 
And oh we're back, that's that sinusoidal motion 
This is how it goes when you're devoid of devotion 
Capricious little grouch, tryna rewrite his history 
But I can't act like I don't know all of what this meant to me 
I wonder if the phantoms will let me go 
I wonder if I'll ever make it home 
Will I ever make it home? 
No 

But I can feel it in the wind 
Fly, butterfly, past the shame and the sin 
Alight on my shoulder, and whisper in my ear 
Tell me that my story isn't over here, no 
Cause I can feel it in the wind 
Fly, butterfly, past the shame and the sin 
Alight on my shoulder, and whisper in my ear 
Tell me that it's time 
Tell me this is my year  

Oh my, oh dear 
it's crazy what can change in a day, month, week and year 
Yeah 
What did I miss? You got any good news? No 
Tell me the truth, did time stop for you, too? 
"What is it you must do at the pent of this house?" 
Man, I'm looking for love, pursuing something profound 
Please tell me there's a reason that you didn't move on 
That you didn't leave me for dead when I got it all wrong 
Is it possible they were right, that my heart's a delight? 
That I won't fade away when darkness fades into light? 
I'm hoping that it's true so I'm getting up to move  
and I'm praying that you're gonna see me through 
I'm coming out the blue now, but make no mistake 
I'm the same kid as I was when I was Narrowgate, yeah 
But don't forget, I'm still the Golden Child 
And the Golden Child's still heavensent
Yes, you did it

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